Why "Christian" Dating Advice Doesn't Work for Young Adult Christians

 "Date someone at your church. I'm sure there's someone in the young adult group who's looking to date."

"Group dates are a great way to get to know a lot of people."

"Always carry money for a cab or prepare to call a friend if things go south."

"Never meet him in a private place unless you know him really well."

"He's a Christian-- so you won't have to worry about him making a move on you."

Some of this advice is alright, while some of it is not. It's the more subtle situations that are difficult. If he isn't saying explicit comment x, y, or z, is he still "making a move?" Or is it a compliment? A difficult example of this is when comedian John Crist made comments to a woman while they were spending an afternoon together. She was later criticized by members of the general public for not understanding his suggestive meaning. Conversations about the current culture and dating safely are necessary, though they could be embarrassing, and there is no way to be prepared for every potential situation.

There's a reason why my single friends in their 20s/30s aren't talking about their dating lives or lack thereof with older mentors, or rarely at all. They end up in a bad advice cycle and walk away thinking, "Older people just don't get it!"

Keeping the lines of communication open between yourself and older friends is important, but there should be some kind way to explain when the advice is too much, without completely alienating the other person.

If people in the church's young adult group are interested in dating, then it could be a round-robin including me, the date, the date's exes, and other friends. This isn't necessarily healthy or easy to navigate.

Others don't want to date but may feel pressure as well-meaning friends try to set them up with other single people in a friend group. This could lead to uncomfortable situations if they are "too picky" or if things don't work out.

*If you want a part 2 about Christian dating, let me know!

Coming Soon: Let's talk about Testimonies

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