Single Women and Youth Ministry for Girls

I’ve previously shared my thoughts on singleness and women’s ministry. I’d encourage you to read that before continuing to read this.

As I thought back to the resources I used as a teen for purity and how to live well, I realized that most of them were written by married women. I did some brief research to see if I could find resources for Christian pre-teens and teens written by single women. Here are my findings: (I searched specifically for resources related to purity and puberty.)

The Christian Girl’s Guide to Change Inside and Out by Rebecca Park Totilo (2016)

It’s Great to be a Girl! A guide to your changing body By Dannah Gresh and Suzy Weibel (2015)

Let’s Talk! Good stuff for girlfriends about God, guys, and growing up By Danae Dobson (2003)

• Follow up book is Let’s Walk the Talk! Girlfriend to girlfriend on faith, friendship, and finding real love (2009)

Emotional Purity by Heather Arnel Paulsen (2007)

Almost all of these authors are married women. Some of them have been in ministry for years and encourage many women. However, they don’t address the life of a young woman and how her relationships and friendships both inside and outside the church change after high school.

One reason that single women aren’t represented in resources to teen girls could be that some single women (myself included) don’t like to talk about our singleness. It’s too vulnerable. We may not have thought that we’d still be single at whatever age we are. Maybe our ideas about modesty and purity have changed over time. We may now have different ideas about how to live out our sexuality as young women than we thought as teens. We may be uncomfortable sharing these newer ideas with others.

Where do we fit? Since the exposure of #churchtoo, some churches are implementing new policies to protect their members and address abuse. Maybe your church is one of them. Unfortunately, this reality does affect current and future practices for young women. For example, does a teen girl date in a difficult society? If so, how? How could she relate to male leaders in her church? Who does she turn to if she finds herself in a dangerous or unhealthy situation with a boy or man? Does her purity (both sexual and emotional) matter beyond youth group graduation? 

Many married women (authors and believers with other vocations) would say yes to these questions. But what about younger or older single women? Can we as single women help teens?

Do married women trust us to talk about the hard stuff (ex. Work, friends, boys, healthy sexuality)? Do we trust ourselves to be honest about these topics?

Our voices are important, and teens could benefit from our lifestyles and truths. I think we as single women can bring our Bibles as well as our experiences in our churches and share with those around us.

If you know of resources written by Christian single women for teens and pre-teens, please share them below or on Twitter (@marvhthingsblog).