I was taught not to chase boys, but to wait for the "right one." I heard it from my family and some from my church as a teenager and have carried it with me into my young adult years. It's a passive waiting. I say, "I'm waiting for my future husband" to cover up the fact I'm not making much of an effort to meet men. I'm not dating anyone. I wait for them to come to me, but they don't.
From what I've learned this semester through hearing a speaker's story, that's not realistic.
Is there a solution? Is it a problem that leaders assure teens that they will find Mr. or Miss Right? Should they change the narrative? As one who grew up on Disney movies and rom-coms, is it possible for my siblings' kids to grow up with another narrative? It will take a conscious effort on the part of those who interact with children to change this. It could be difficult, but it's better for them than being blindsided later in life with the possibility that they may not ever get married.
Is my personality a part of this? Absolutely. I'm introverted, which means I have to push myself to make friends. Not everyone who grows up with this narrative will have the same struggles as me. However, young girls in Christian communities who hear this could carry it with them longer than anyone expects. I appreciate the aspect of waiting in a physical sense, but not the aspect of waiting in a relational sense.